class today leads me to inspiration part 2

my inspiration use to be my Vermont house, as everyone already has read. but thinking about it i think i lack inspiration now because i have no time for it. i lack inspiration now because my Vermont house is no longer there. well its there alright, but without me. all i have left is memories. when mike said today he was going to Vermont i wanted to cry. i cant stand it. its horrible. thinking back to inspiration i think back to a few years ago; when i was a single, lonely tenth grader who didn't go out drinking at night and stayed in to have family dinner, i was inspired by a lot more. i think it is easier to be inspired when you are depressed. really!! i would sit at home listen to the used and feel bad that i didn't have a boyfriend, that i wasn't one of the cool girls, that i wasn't pretty enough or that i wasn't a makeup whore. at that point in my life i would stay up until the wee hours of the morning and draw. i drew anything. from my puppy to girls from magazines. i think now it sucks that i have no time for inspiration. no time to sit and smell the roses or whatever that saying is. although i do know one thing that when i am inspired, for example my two little love muffins Jake and Ella, nothing can ruin my day. they make me happy and they do nothing wrong. thinking about it Jake is my inspiration, i'm constantly making him take silly pictures with me and we draw and paint and play with play-dough. so maybe i do have inspiration after all. i just hope that life doesn't pass me by too quickly. too many people have no time for themselves. cough, my parents. i need to give myself more Sam time to do what i want. forget valley stream forget my boyfriend and just find my inspiration again...