inner childhood

this kid makes me the happiest person in the world. his name is Jake Tyler && we were racing cars hence my inner childhood!

facebook

yes facebook came in handy tonight. after discussing in class our shadow selves our great selves our whatever selves i found this quote. it was from one tree hill and i think it has a good message

"because sometimes you have to step outside the person you've been and remember the person you were meant to be. the person you want to be. the person you are. "

i like it

inner self

i'm a bitch
i say things that hurt peoples feelings
i am always right.
im obnoxious
i have a big head
my parents think im funny
i think i'm a nerd
i have no life
weekends involve family
i don't party
there are no parties
i want a lot from life
i want money
i want a nice car
i will be a nurse
i will break his heart one day
i need my sisters
i love to read
i get emotionally involved in too much
i'm sensitive
ill do all the talking but when you criticize me i end up in tears
i'm not who my parents think i am
i'm lazy
i will stick up for you no matter what
i have no best friend
i beat to my own drum
there are days when i have no self confidence
i cry way too much
i get angry at too much
i need therapy

&& when it comes down to it I'm still an eighteen year old from valley stream.

meditation is bullshit how about that. i didn't need to sit in silence to tell you this.

different.

it all seems too familiar
but something has certainly changed.
my soul deep inside cringes as we travel
down the roads and up the hills
there's a change in the air.
the magic is lost
and the excitement has faded.
like the leaves on the trees
falling, the trees
they are all now bare
like my memories
they are rare and cut open
it pains me to this day
traveling the same road
but something has changed
an exciting place now vanished.

inner self pictures

i stole the top one from mike but i edited it so i guess props to him?

tired

i am exhausted from walking today

tomorrow decides my future

im starving

i really want chinese food

its already 6:45

i just want to see him

its cold in here

oh im so tired

ugh...

childhood time of...

the wooden table set with pink plaid napkins folded over into a triangle
the glass cups and plates elegantly painted with roses and baby's breath
delicately placed on the table one by one.
the chairs gently tucked under the table each holding a friend
a teddy bear, Samantha the American Girl doll, and Curious George.
the last chair goes to me.
the tea was always cold
it was always pretty clear too.
my mom would yell when we put fruit punch into the tea cups
she would fret about staining the napkins.
the tea parties would last for hours.
pouring tea, sipping tea, and munching on chocolate chip cookies.
that was when times were so simple
and the days flew by.
just sitting at the tea table,
teddy and I...

Jessica Lynn && Alexandra Marie

my twins
my support
my lifelines && inspiration
my number one fan's
my greatest gift in life
my sisters
my loves

its brutal when were apart
good-byes always end in tears
we are each other's best friends
we know each others deepest secrets
being a year apart there is not much that separates us
from sharing clothes to sharing gossip
its never a dull moment
there is always constant chatter at the dinner table
my poor dad.
people use to think we were triplets
which i think is pretty nifty.
i am so grateful for the times we share together
and for always having two best friends
i know one day we will be each others maid of honors
and continue our journey's to the age of a hundred...

bob dylan saga

The song the times they are a changing was written by bob Dylan in 1963. He was in the process of recording a new album and hadn’t planned on using the song until his friend Tony Glover found the manuscript. He questioned Dylan asking “what is this shit man?” Dylan’s flawless response was, “well you know it seems to be what the people like to hear.” The song was then recorded and released on his 1964 record titled the times they are a changing. Since Bob Dylan was known for his protest songs, people immediately reacted and could relate to this song. During this time period there was war and political turmoil. People viewed the song as a way to revolt. Dylan disputed that it was not a protest song. He said “I can't really say that adults don't understand young people any more than you can say big fishes don't understand little fishes. I didn't mean ['The Times they are a-Changin'] as a statement...It's a feeling." In the song he relates to the different views of adults and older people in the lines “Come mothers and fathers throughout the land and don’t criticize what you can’t understand your sons and your daughters are beyond your command.” This proved how he viewed older people and the younger generation, stating that the younger generation is ruthless and cannot be controlled. The lyrics in this song have different meanings. Specifically the line “the order is rapidly fadin, and the first one now will later be last”, is taken from the gospel of Mark. In the gospel of Mark it says "But many that are first shall be last; and the last first” Dylan then changed it around and used it in his song.” If you interpret more than just that one specific line in the gospel it discusses how money and riches in life are nothing. This was a common theme with Dylan in his other songs. Another line from the song “there’s a battle outside and it is ragin “can be directly related to the war that was going on during this time period. This is why it has been said that this is in fact a protest song. I believe that Dylan wrote this song about himself. He realized that he was changing and that things don’t stay the same forever. The line “as the present now will later be past” generally states that life moves on and what seems important now will no longer matter later on. Many people wanted Bob Dylan to continue writing protest songs but Dylan had other plans. By 1964he had changed his image and wanted to break away from the title of protest singer and songwriter.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9vou4qUu5YY

him

he has the wittiest comments
&& the most obnoxious statements.
he has reddish brown hair that use to be long
it is now gone. washed down the drain.
his face is no longer hidden by layers of hair.
you now notice his eyes, hues of browns blues && greens
they have no specific color.
his freckles take over his body
creating somewhat of a pattern
his arms create a safe haven for me
holding me tight, but if feels just right.
hes been around for a while now
almost three years in may
he keeps me grounded, && focused on whats ahead.
i never have to worry if he wont be there for me
hes the one thing that seems to never go away.
there are times when our patience levels diminish
&& there are times when we just cant stand each other.
whose cranky whose blue sometimes its just so unbearable.
but we have each other through and through.
&& no matter what each && every night ends with an i love you...

FUCK

so i was just driving home from buying the second book in the twilight series new moon, bc i am a loser. no offense anyone. and then my brakes locked. steering wheel locked and i was helpless. some light that i have never seen went on the engine temperature button went all the way passed it was suppose to. some belt that is important according to my dad broke and now there is some liquid dripping out of my car. im so pissed. nothing has ever been wrong with my car before except a flat tire. im so aggravated. and im going to pay for this. my parents have enough on their plates and now all they need is a broken car. i kno its not my fault but still. i jinxed it. im so angry. getting to school tmrw is going to be great i get to drive with my sister. i just want to curl up in a ball and cry. besides that i have no voice and im still sick. i hate today. today sucked. my next car is going to be a vespa. fuck Chevy's!

took a lyric from what song came on and heres the outcome

i had a dream about you, it was december in the afternoon

i got my heart set on anywhere but here.

i dont trust myself with lovin' you

the times they are a changin'

your already the voice inside my head

truth is hard to swallow

lately i choose water over wine

here i go im gone im going

dont look away dont run away

baby its only life...

so its hard for me to see if this really worked bc i just keep singing the songs..input would be nice...

random

divorce. i decided this is the word i hate the most. i am lucky enough to never have experienced this first hand but i have seen the results. a horrible mess. there are so many bitter people and so many dreams that vanish. the little girl i babysit is a miserable person. at the tender age of 10 she trusts no one and hates people who have fathers. she doesn't know why her father was forced to leave but she blames anyone but him for his leaving. he raped a 13 year old. just wait until she is old enough to hear that. there are such horrible people in the world sometimes it is hard to trust anyone. think of her mother. she married this man thinking he was the best and she loved him with everything. then that happens. its so horrible. my other friend Jacqui is 19 but is in the middle of her parents. they scream all day, her dad hiring private investigators, and snooping in on his daughter. its terrible. and then what happens. the divorce papers come and life moves on. people are hurt and then your years of being together are forced to disappear. i don't get it. there is no purpose to this rant and i hope i haven't hurt any feelings. i just thinks that this proves to us all that before you get married make sure they are the one, and don't hurt your children in the process. divorce is just such a strong word that it makes me cringe...

livers

biology, who needs this shit. oh i mean i do.
i do want to be a nurse. im so glad i get to learn about nephrons and the insides of your livers and how we pee. who gives a fuck
really no one. i have a week to learn all of this and pass the midterm. rediculous.

im going to eat moe's with my sisters. we are having a sister day.

beast belly whatever

i deleted this blog by accident and now i dont have it back =[

i guess i will just have to get angry again

time of...

the crunch of the gravel under the car tires

the finality of it all, was too hard to comprehend

the last goodbye, the tears && the memories.

the hill that led to the town store

the car gained speed as we drove down the mountain

it was the fastest exit of my life

it was all too fast to take in

too hard for me not to cry

it was just too hard to say goodbye.

the last time on route 7

the local lake rippled as we drove past

the leaves stirring up on the dirt road.

it was the most pathetic moment

a family torn over a house

&& the result an argument that no one ever won.

the key turned locking the door

now there was no chance of returning

it was over.

my childhood memories

my peace && tranquility, trapped inside.

forgotten by many, but not me.

my life sits there on top of a hill, quiet && alone with no one there for it to love...

train

you walk around like you own the place

your heinous face is one i couldn't have mistaken

for another.

your hair is fried with too many colors,

perfect timing that were on the same train.

i hate you

for no reason

but a good reason.

you simply disappeared from my life.

are you a ghost?

you left me because of a boy!

what is that about?

well guess what he wouldn't have replaced you...

why would you think that?

we were inseparable.

how do you go up to me and act like nothing happened?

trying to pretend that what you did to me was alright

its not.

your a bitch for what you did.

all along i would blame myself but fuck it,

your the one who walked away...

sick life hahaha

another day in the life of a bug

bugs are annoying

annoying as your brother

brothers McGee

McGee who is he

he he he i can sing my ABC's

ABC's of life

life is what you make it

it throws you obstacles

obstacle course to run through

through thick n thin

thin little baby

baby you are crazzzaaaayyyyyyy

ha ha i'm really done, this is what happens when you don't want to go to sleep and you just stay up to the point where you are too tired to focus on anything!

car continued it wouldnt let me add the rest of the pictures

car

so i got out of biology early saturday and i had a sweet sixteen at 12 so i met my family there i changed at molloy and went straight to the place. of course my sister jess takes 2 years to get ready and will be late for her own funeral i got bored and realized i had my camera. so this is the result....p.s i love my freckles

...

her eyes swell up

crying for a lost cause

here we go again.

the pain on the inside

the anxiety it builds

builds a wall that contains it.

the anger that led to the tears has gone away

why must the world be this way.

today is Sunday, it is suppose to be a great day...

it all started with my horoscope...

October 2, 2008
"A stranger with a powerful personality will draw you into their orbit today and before you know it you will be telling them all your most intimate secrets. That's okay. It's good to open up and be honest sometimes, and they won't betray your trust in them."
-Sally Brompton

this is from the new york post. i read my horoscope every morning and most of the time i think they are right. but today i was like yeah right im not going to find any stranger and tell them my secrets. too bad this did happen. but its even more amazing than i could have ever imagine. i cant tell anyone about this until it really happens on monday. HINT it has to do with everyone's favorite music channel, mtv

;] stay tuned!

class today leads me to inspiration part 2

my inspiration use to be my Vermont house, as everyone already has read. but thinking about it i think i lack inspiration now because i have no time for it. i lack inspiration now because my Vermont house is no longer there. well its there alright, but without me. all i have left is memories. when mike said today he was going to Vermont i wanted to cry. i cant stand it. its horrible. thinking back to inspiration i think back to a few years ago; when i was a single, lonely tenth grader who didn't go out drinking at night and stayed in to have family dinner, i was inspired by a lot more. i think it is easier to be inspired when you are depressed. really!! i would sit at home listen to the used and feel bad that i didn't have a boyfriend, that i wasn't one of the cool girls, that i wasn't pretty enough or that i wasn't a makeup whore. at that point in my life i would stay up until the wee hours of the morning and draw. i drew anything. from my puppy to girls from magazines. i think now it sucks that i have no time for inspiration. no time to sit and smell the roses or whatever that saying is. although i do know one thing that when i am inspired, for example my two little love muffins Jake and Ella, nothing can ruin my day. they make me happy and they do nothing wrong. thinking about it Jake is my inspiration, i'm constantly making him take silly pictures with me and we draw and paint and play with play-dough. so maybe i do have inspiration after all. i just hope that life doesn't pass me by too quickly. too many people have no time for themselves. cough, my parents. i need to give myself more Sam time to do what i want. forget valley stream forget my boyfriend and just find my inspiration again...

where disappointment and regret collide

i feel really bad for my boyfriend, he worked his ass of to get on the adelphi baseball team and then they cut him. i always joked like well without baseball we can see each other more. i feel horrible. maybe i jinxed it. at least now i know his birthday plans wont get ruined? horrible...

my disappointment. i cant write a fucking one page paper.
i really don't know what is wrong with me. i'm feeling a trip to some library so i can finish it, and stop checking blogger and facebook. lately these two things are my number one procrastination tools. text messaging too!

attempt at pics

this might get a few gasps...a haunting memory

her hair was as yellow as the sun and her personality was sweet and quirky. she was my best friend since kindergarten. riding our bikes everyday to the park eating cookies and baking cakes, we were inseparable especially since we lived right down the block from each other. it all happened on a vacation to Florida. she had been acting strange even before we left, starting to obsess over not wearing shorts and rebelling against her parents. it doesn't sound that strange but it was. she was my best friend who never cared about any of those things. on vacation she started not speaking to me and acting like i was a threat to her, she would even compare me to her mom. the last day of vacation she hit me and didn't speak to me all the way back to valley stream.

we soon started speaking again she apologized for what had happened and we planned a big sleepover for that weekend. i couldn't wait i thought she had just had enough of the vacation. her parents went out that night to local families house and her older sister was upstairs babysitting us. another one of our closest friends also joined in on the sleepover. we were all hanging out and gossiping when my best friend told my other friend and i that she was slitting her thighs and wrists. well that explains the jean obsession. i couldn't believe it we acted like we didn't hear anything. she had no explanation for doing such a thing her parents loved her and she had friends that did too. a week later i was just hanging out with her again her parents again were off to an event. she told me she had a headache and was just going to take an Advil. not strange. the next thing i knew i walked into the dining room and he was swallowing as many pills as she could. i was terrified. i called my mom who then called her mom.

the next day my best friend was admitted to a mental ward at a hospital in queens. it haunts me to this day that someone you love so much would try to do such a thing to themselves. after tears and blaming myself for what had happened, i knew our relationship would be over forever. when she came home i saw her once but she had changed. she wasn't the best friend i knew, our parents told us that maybe it was better we never spoke again. and that is how its been. i thought of her the other day not believing were in college now. i messaged her saying good luck i cant believe were already in college. i got no response i knew i wouldn't but somehow i thought that would make it better and the tears and pain would go away...

nyc baybayyy

my toes are burning

my hair in disarray

but i'm so glad i didn't stay home today

subway to subway

art right in front of our eyes

man i cant wait til our train arrives.

the library is quiet

people sit looking for inspiration

with their young minds.

this was my poem from when we sat in the library, you can tell i was exhausted. i have to put up pictures i think its time to open that flicker account and start letting my ideas flow onto these blogs. that's all i got for now...

gloomsville

i really hate days like today, its dark cold and gloomy. i also have like good news economic wise but social life wise it sucks. i am now working on my only day off Tuesday. I'm glad to be making money but now my only day off is Sunday. kinda bummed. Tuesday's were always my day to hang out with the boyfriend or my sister. food was always involved either way. but oh well. i really hope it doesn't rain tomorrow even though i know we will make the best of the rain. i already have my rain boots, windbreaker, and umbrella ready to go! one happy thing today, i get pizza for dinner, ha ha even though we had it yesterday i just love it!

Since We Won First, Jess SQUARED PROPS!!

Dear Darla, I hate your stinking guts!

I love you like Tom loves Jerry
On my sundae you are not my cherry
I love you like a 40 year old man with a beer belly!

Your prescence is like stubble on my legs
You're even worse than a tapped keg
You're like bubbalicious on my shoe
Which is almost as bad as dog poo!

Columbus sailed the ocean blue in 1492,
You're so obnoxious I should sue!

Inspiration

Since I can remember every weekend of my life was spent in a little town called Danby. Danby is in Southern Vermont, hidden away from the ski slopes and from all the busy cities. It is a little town with one cafe, one general store, and one little church. It was my escape and my inspiration for everything. Before I was born my Grandparent's on my Mom's side had bought this quaint house with a big deck and huge woods around it. They spent their every waking moment there and it was to become my Grandparent's retirement house one day. All of my friends new that if I was no where to be found on the weekends, I was in Vermont.
What inspired me so much about this little town was how peaceful it was. The house was on a mountain. Mt. Timber to be exact and the view took your breath away, especially in the fall. One of my favorite times to be there. There was no cell phone service which was amazing. I got to leave all the drama behind and just have myself and my thoughts. I always was sketching, taking pictures or writing stories there. I had no one to bother me except the chirping of crickets at night. I had the mountains as my inspiration, the stars that were way brighter than in New York, and wildlife all around me. When I was around ten I think, my sisters, cousins and I were inspired to build a fort. And a fort was what we built, it was amazing until the day the town dog Jed came and ripped it apart.

Although we no longer have the house, I will never forget the feelings associated with it. I was a free person, a peaceful person and could think out anything. That little town has a great place in my heart and always will. When I feel down I just think of all the amazing memories, and what was there that inspired me. There was never a weekend that i felt uninspired for sure. It was an exciting adventure each and every time.

these are a few of my fanvorite things

1. My Cell Phone: I really do hate my cell phone, I just think its pretty. Just kidding this is my way of gossiping, chatting, yelling and staying in touch with everyone. I get to text my sister in PA and all of my family for free and I think that's why I love it so much. Also its pretty new and they use it on Gossip Girl so I have become a little obsessed. We all know we would be lost without our cell phones, fess up everyone.

2. My Uggz: When Uggz started becoming a cool thing I really really despised them. I thought that they were heinous and stupid. Yes, my word for everything stupid. When my sister got a pair I fell in love. I hate wearing sneakers so for the winter when its too unbearable to wear flip flops I slip into my Uggz. They are the softest comfiest things around! Also brown is becoming one of my all time favorite colors.

3. My Secretary Glasses: I don't think that too many people love their glasses but I do. I was always annoying my parents as a little kid saying "I cant read this MOMMMM." They thought I wanted attention but when it got to the point that looking at a black board was impossible I went to the eye doctor. These glasses have lasted me about 3 years, there the greatest thing ever and I cherish them. Plus they have a super cool design on the side. AND as an added bonus I can now see things!! =]

4. My Grandma's Old Fashion Telephone: I have no idea where my Grandma Marie could have found such a cute thing. My family is a little obsessed with having every little invaluable item in the world. I always use to play with this when I was little. When my Grandma had gotten sick I told my Mom I am taking that little red telephone. I know it is morbid but its how I remember my fun loving crazy Grandma. I think it is the cutest thing in the world so therefore it is one of my favorite things.

5. The Tiffany Ring: My boyfriend gave me this ring for last Christmas. I wanted it and was tempted to buy it myself. But of course he convinced me not to and bought it for me. I wear this ring everyday and i know its stupid because its not like were married but I think of him when I see it. Also the ladies at Tiffany told me I have to have the heart facing me because I'm taken. My boyfriend also had bought me the matching necklace which isn't in the picture because it looks exactly the same. He's a good boyfriend!

6. The Diamond Ring: Save the best for last. The diamond ring has a great story. My Grandma Annette, my Dad's Mom, gave me this for my high school graduation. Along with the ring I gained a piece of family history. This ring was given to her when she graduated. The center diamond was her Father's, my great Grandfather's union pin. He was a brick layer so they were given pins back then. The two diamond chips as they are called are my great great Grandfathers. He was given these too from some union. I am not too sure. Since I was the last of the four Granddaughter's to graduate from high school I received the ring. I wish I wore this more, I cant because it needs to be sized and I am scared to lose it. But i cherish it and it has a great story.

I have a lot more favorite things like my car, my boyfriend, my puppy, my parents, my flip flops, my rain boots, and food! but i cannot put all of these things so i picked the easiest ones since they are all close to me at all times...

argh

i sound like such an angry person on my blogs lately like a depressed emo bitch
and right now i have a lot of anger towards one specific person. i will not mention
her name but im mad and she royally screwed me over. with my career at least.
im so glad i waited 4 years to take chem. ahhhhh. this is like a stream of conciousness
but im very angry so i am going to just type and yell and yell at my boyfriend bc he
made the mistake of asking me how my day was.
AHHHHHHHHHHHHH
im done.

stolen from russo/ inside actors studio i think...

What is your favorite word?
i think it has to be precious, although i spell it wrong CONSTANTLY

What is your least favorite word?
boring-just because it is a useless boring word..there are curse words i cannot stand but i wont even say them!

What turns you on creatively, spiritually or emotionally?
my family and life experiences. if i see something or hear good, bad or any news i get inspired.

What turns you off?
politics

What is your favorite curse word?
definitely F*@% but i say shit all the time.

What sound or noise do you love?
either the pots and pans on a sunday morning, or the vacuum. just because those are two things that happen every sunday morning and i know everything will be okay if the day starts off with cooking and cleaning by my mom. its a comfort thing.

What sound or noise do you hate?
when my dog wont stop barking for like a half and hour

What profession other than your own would you like to attempt?
well since i am not a professional just a nursing major, i would attempt to be a news journalist like diane sawyers. i like attention and can talk for hours.

What profession would you not like to do?
a telemarketer. they are friggen annoying. enough said. lets all love each other.

If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?
you look like you need a drink

sit && hope && pray

the worried look across her face,
the pain she feels inside.
a feeling not quite normal for someone of her age.

twenty five && living life
her wedding less than a year away
her fiance cries && lies awake at night, hoping she will be okay.

test after test
opinion after opinion
we all sit && wait for what the doctors have to s a y.

but for now shes living life
planning her wedding day.
all her parents can do now is sit && hope && pray


im sure there are only two people who know what this is all about.
i spent the day with who this pertains to and now i am home and
continue to sit && hope && pray <3

unsure

i cant see into the future
i cant tell if my dreams will come true
i feel so far b e h i n d everyone else.

will it be the right job for me?
do i have the perseverance?

these are my self doubts
i know i can do it,
i just don't know how

i'm just an 18 year old girl from valley stream trying to figure it all out...

random

so as i sit here and procrastinate i started thinking of how happy i am this year. i was talking to my boyfriend and had said to him how i really did not love high school. everyone had said it's the best years of your life but for me it really felt like four years of hell. yeah i met some nice people, had some amazing teachers but college, thats more like it. college is so much better. i am so glad i decided to go to molloy. i really really wanted to go away but am so much happier i stayed home. im glad i didnt settle. if i did i would be in some pennsylvania hicktown. rockville centre is much more my speed. another reason im so happy i guess is because i didnt need to leave my family. as ive written before my family is everything. today i even got to be with my baby cousin ella. im glad im not missing out on her terrible two's. it is an amazing feeling. so glad this September started off right... =]

one of my beach haiku's[sp?]

the wind in his hair

the gleam on his face calm, cool

S e p t e m b e r is here.

jones beach

today was pretty amazing. not many college kids get to say they had class on the beach!!

here are my top pictures out of 55
coool dude! <3>

-close connections-

there are several people who i have close connections with and for this blog it was hard to chose just one. ultimately i decided to go with my Grandma Marie. although my Grandma died when i was in sixth grade she left me with so many great memories.
my Grandma was always someone who stood up for me when my parents were ready to kill me. she encouraged me to do what i wanted to do, and egged me on at times. we had a house in Vermont when i was little and i would always go with my Grandparents, the times we had their were unforgettable. my Grandma always use to tell us "girls life's an adventure". whenever we were with her it was a new adventure every time. she taught me to be a good person to everyone and to be thankful for what i have around me. she, too helped me to decide what i wanted to become after college. although i never got to tell her that i decided to become a nurse she knows. she taught me to have patience and be a caring person. these attribute to becoming a great nurse. so that's how i decided what i would do with my life.
i will never forget the amazing times i had with my Grandma. i miss her terribly, but i can look back and laugh at all the amazing memories i have. i was very fortunate to have someone so close to me to laugh through the tears, and enjoy life. she taught me all of life's great lessons and more. i am forever grateful for the time i got to spend with her.

depressing these days

i hate depressing news, thats all i have to say.
sometimes life just isnt fair and throws obstacles at you.
but for some reason i feel like it always seems to be my family.
i know that sounds horrible but lately thats how i feel.

[the end]

always in my heart <3

i miss you when its quiet
i think of you when i need support
when it rains i look to you to show me the sunshine beneath the clouds.
you are my role model && inspiration
my hope that dreams do come true.
one of my favorite people,
&& you always will be...

pictures from class on friday

Window Shot

Mug Shot

DUMBO

Mirror Picture

Hiding?

Reach For The Stars

ring around the rosie, a pocket full of posie...

...ashes to ashes we all fall down

they bump their tiny heads

he comforts her with a kiss

my two little lovebugs

who can barely say their names

they just sit and play their made up g a m e s.

they're my sunshine when its raining,

their smiles make you believe everything will be alright

&& everything is alright...

my baby cousins Jake Tyler and Ella Marie were my inspiration for this one. figured i would try a poem, hey at least i tried!!

GOOD MORNING WORLD

me and my little man my collage in the background haha

7:30 in the morning, YIKES! these are the loves of my life =]

a lot to say for a thursday

so today is september 11th, its a day that greatly effected my family and i and i just wanted to it to be said in my blog. my heart goes out to all who were affected and i greatly appreciate all our FDNY && NYPD women and men.
other than that i worked again today not as bad as monday thank god or thank someone. this week has been pretty hectic and stressful. my cousin has been in and out of the hospital, both my sisters broke up with their boyfriends, and i was almost killed by someone yesterday. now that ur interested in my boring life, this is my almost being killed story. i was driving to the doctor after class and i was in the right lane just cruisin, and a lady decides i wasnt in the lane and plows into me. so i swerved hit the curb nothing happend. again thank god. but then the lady proceded to curse me out like F@*% YOU && all those other vulgur words. i was so annoyed that i started crying bc when i get mad i cry, it doesnt make sense but thats like a family thing idk. also i havent seen my boyfriend in a hot second and i mean "abscence makes the heart grow fonder" but i kinda miss him. as for my sisters lives im stuck with hearing them say "well at least you HAVE a boyfriend. haahha. also my cousin is pretty much fine so i should be celebrating today but im not. now im done sharing my life stories with everyone and i have to go get some real hard homework done...
peace && <3

ripped cuticles && ABC's

what a day today was! i had class as usual from 8-9, we learned about Hippocraties and other "influential" people. but today wasn't like any usual monday. i started work at Molloy College's own registrar office. so i have work study which i thought would be a great thing for me i mean i could just work instead of having to go home. so i quietly creeped into the office which was painfully quiet for 9 in the morning and met all my "co-workers" all very sweet and willing to help me out. my favorite person is the little old lady, my boss who i dont know if her name is mary or nancy. i should probably research that one. after meeting everyone i got my own little desk and was given a huge stack of papers. "alphabetize these and then file them" were my directions. PSHHH piece of cake...5 hours later, not finished filing, ripped cuticles and paper cuts. but the best part is, i get to go back on thursday and start right where i left off. pretty soon the alphabet is going to go someting like this qwertyuiopaslkjhgfdzxcvbnm or i am going to lose eyesight! what a day...

who I am

I am Samantha Jeanne Benson! I was welcomed into this world on May 2, 1990.I assume that it was a great day, I do not happen to remember it. I have an amazing family, and twin sisters who I adore. They are a year older than I, and have always been my role models. When we were younger we were inseparable. We quickly learned the power of friendship, and what love really means. Most of who I am and why I am the way I am is because of my family. Not only do i have great sisters but numerous cousins, aunts, uncles and grandparents who have taught me to be the free spirit that I am. They were the ones who never discouraged me as a child when I was the one who wanted to draw and imagine instead of playing kickball.

When high school came around I started to learn who I really was or so I thought. I took classes that interested me especially AP Art, with the craziest person you would ever meet as a teacher. I learned how creative I could be, and I learned to take advantage of new experiences, and be brave. What did I have to lose? The most important trait I gained from high school was to be who you want to be. I used to be a shy and very "home-y" kid. I slowly evolved into a loud, at times obnoxiously loud, outgoing, funny person. I am not Dane Cook, but every once in a while I hear that I am a funny person.

With my new found personality and outlook on life I start my freshman year, at Molloy College. I have many dreams for myself and I know every single one will come true. It may take me a while but I will do it. What I did not mention was although I was the quiet child, I never gave up and always strived to get what I wanted. That characteristic I learned from my parents who would do anything for my sisters and I. I also come from a caring and loving family. This helped me to decide what I would do for the rest of my life, become a nurse. Although I am not the best in math or the best in science. I will do all that I can to be the best nurse i can be and even better. I also have this dream that one day I will live in the city with my puppy, and white range rover. But before the Range Rover, puppy or loft across from Central Park, I want to make a difference in people's lives. I will treat all my patients with the most respect and do everything I can and more to make them feel better. I hope one day that I will have more patience with myself and stop being so critical. To end this rant of my life I am going to leave one of my favorite quotes. "All our dreams can come true, if we have the courage to pursue them." That was said by Walt Disney. I firmly believe that any dream can come true. Just look how big Mickey Mouse turned out...

the calm before the storm

the clouds fly by us

the w i n d quickly moves them away.

the trees sway in the shadow of the sun.

the wind whistles in your ear

but all around you is silence.

it's the calm before the storm.

Blogging?

my name is Sam
i don't eat ham.
i really don't like traffic jams
Or grape jam.
i have a puppy
he's pretty lucky
his name is leo.
he has a friend named cleo,
shes a cat
her owner likes funny hats
i have 2 sisters
jessie and ally
they love the movie how harry met sally.
i think its pretty silly,
almost like my cousin billy.

ongoing assessments 9/1/08

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